I just bought one of those all-inclusive kit things that comes with the dirt and the seeds and the pot (told you I was an underachiever). It has some basil, parsley, and chives. I added a little strip of chalkboard paint to the pot so that I know what is where because I know literally nothing about plants right now. And that way I can maybe keep it for another slacker-garden next year.
See? Still alive. So I'm not completely (just mostly) hopeless.