Today, I picked up some pretty flowers and wore a pretty dress. I was looking at the photos I took and thinking "wow, these are way too girly girl." I almost felt bad about it - like I was trying too hard to be something I'm not - just a cutesy blogger with flowers and an impractical outfit (for the record, it is actually really comfortable). But then I realized: Hey, I LIKE flowers, and I LIKE dresses. So what's so dishonest about this? I shouldn't be made to feel bad (even by myself) just because I have some varying interests, right?
Then I came across this post from Delightfully Tacky that really resonated. I'm going to try to sum up my own thoughts, but she did a really great job describing the situation, so you should definitely go read her post.
Done? Ok, good. So here's my personal take: I like flowers. I like cupcakes. I like wearing dresses pretty much every day. I like baking. I know pretty much all the words to Sleepless in Seattle, Clueless and Legally Blonde. My nails are always painted, and I enjoy a good girl talk session every now and again. Does this make me some kind of anti-feminist? No. I ACTUALLY LIKE those things (among other, not-so-pink-and-sparkly things). I don't say that I like them because I want to be a "good woman" or seem less intimidating to men. That's just what I like, and I don't think I should have to feel bad about it or hide it just because I want to seem like a big tough feminist. And I also disagree with the whole idea that women pretend to like cupcakes and kitties just to attract men. I don't know any men who look for "likes cupcakes" as specific dating criteria. I agree that some women do dumb themselves down or pretend to have interests that aren't real just to attract or keep a guy, and that's not really cool. But who am I to judge?
I actually can't think of a specific time in my life where I've felt significantly discriminated against by a man. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, or that women don't still face some inequality in lots of areas. But I honestly think that I've felt more judged by women, both for not being a good woman ("what do you mean you don't want to get married and have babies til you're 30? that's so weird") or for not being a good feminist ("what do you mean you let your boyfriend buy you dinner?") OH MY GOODNESS, ALERT THE MEDIA!
I also like World War 2 movies and Star Wars and technology, and yes, I pay for dinner sometimes - I don't JUST like flowers and cooking. I consider myself a fairly smart person, and I don't think I dumb myself down to get people to like me. In my opinion, guys who look for dumb girls don't deserve you anyway. But the point is that we're all different, and we can all be into different things without it being some dramatic blow to the feminist movement. So I just really think it's important that we STOP JUDGING EACH OTHER so harshly, especially when you don't even know the person very well. I'm not saying I've never been judgmental of other girls, but I'm trying to stop. We'd probably get more accomplished if we stopped calling each other names and just helped each other out, or at the very least just minded our own business. You want to be a stay-at-home-mom? Great. Go for it. Want to be a porn star? Cool, best of luck to you. You can be whatever you want, dress however you want, and act however you want. And you shouldn't have to worry about always being judged by other girls. Don't ever feel bad for liking something. Thanks to Elizabeth, for reminding me of that.
Dress: Thrifted // Shawni's Closet
Cardigan and Earrings: F21
**Linking up with The Pleated Poppy for WIWW