Monday, June 13, 2011

Flowers and Feminism

Today, I picked up some pretty flowers and wore a pretty dress. I was looking at the photos I took and thinking "wow, these are way too girly girl." I almost felt bad about it - like I was trying too hard to be something I'm not - just a cutesy blogger with flowers and an impractical outfit (for the record, it is actually really comfortable). But then I realized: Hey, I LIKE flowers, and I LIKE dresses. So what's so dishonest about this? I shouldn't be made to feel bad (even by myself) just because I have some varying interests, right?

Then I came across this post from Delightfully Tacky that really resonated. I'm going to try to sum up my own thoughts, but she did a really great job describing the situation, so you should definitely go read her post.

Done? Ok, good. So here's my personal take: I like flowers. I like cupcakes. I like wearing dresses pretty much every day. I like baking. I know pretty much all the words to Sleepless in Seattle, Clueless and Legally Blonde. My nails are always painted, and I enjoy a good girl talk session every now and again. Does this make me some kind of anti-feminist? No. I ACTUALLY LIKE those things (among other, not-so-pink-and-sparkly things). I don't say that I like them because I want to be a "good woman" or seem less intimidating to men. That's just what I like, and I don't think I should have to feel bad about it or hide it just because I want to seem like a big tough feminist. And I also disagree with the whole idea that women pretend to like cupcakes and kitties just to attract men. I don't know any men who look for "likes cupcakes" as specific dating criteria. I agree that some women do dumb themselves down or pretend to have interests that aren't real just to attract or keep a guy, and that's not really cool. But who am I to judge?

I actually can't think of a specific time in my life where I've felt significantly discriminated against by a man. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, or that women don't still face some inequality in lots of areas. But I honestly think that I've felt more judged by women, both for not being a good woman ("what do you mean you don't want to get married and have babies til you're 30? that's so weird") or for not being a good feminist ("what do you mean you let your boyfriend buy you dinner?") OH MY GOODNESS, ALERT THE MEDIA!

I also like World War 2 movies and Star Wars and technology, and yes, I pay for dinner sometimes - I don't JUST like flowers and cooking. I consider myself a fairly smart person, and I don't think I dumb myself down to get people to like me. In my opinion, guys who look for dumb girls don't deserve you anyway. But the point is that we're all different, and we can all be into different things without it being some dramatic blow to the feminist movement. So I just really think it's important that we STOP JUDGING EACH OTHER so harshly, especially when you don't even know the person very well. I'm not saying I've never been judgmental of other girls, but I'm trying to stop. We'd probably get more accomplished if we stopped calling each other names and just helped each other out, or at the very least just minded our own business. You want to be a stay-at-home-mom? Great. Go for it. Want to be a porn star? Cool, best of luck to you. You can be whatever you want, dress however you want, and act however you want. And you shouldn't have to worry about always being judged by other girls. Don't ever feel bad for liking something. Thanks to Elizabeth, for reminding me of that.

Outfit Details:
Dress: Thrifted // Shawni's Closet
Cardigan and Earrings: F21
Leggings: Target
Shoes: Payless

**Linking up with The Pleated Poppy for WIWW


  1. Oh my goodness, both yours and Elizabeth's posts are so wonderfully written. I'm currently a stay-at-home-mom, and although The World has generally been super nice about it, I still feel unspoken pressure from society as far as the "homemaker" stereotype is concerned. But such is life. Your outfit is smashing.

  2. I am girly girl. I would also consider myself a feminist,and I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. So keep wearing your dresses, baking those brownies, and buying your own dinner on occasion! XO

  3. annie i order this outfit! that dress is so pretty!!!!

  4. i love that everyone is talking about this! i've seen references to it on several different blogs now. Love what you have to say and I agree. And I absolutely love that dress!

  5. what a great outfit!!! I love the colors!

  6. i am really happy i discovered your blog via 'sometimes sweet'. happy to be a new follower.


  7. Well said.
    I think that overcoming the oppression of women by both men & other women will result in "girly" things not being seen as girly.
    It's sad that women are constantly judging one another for things that are mostly personal choices.
    (ugh, i feel like that was rambling & didn't make sense, sorry!)

  8. okay i am obsessed with this post. you are beautiful

  9. Love your post and you are so beautiful!

  10. LOVE that outfit! The colors are so fun. Cute post!!! I will have to go read Delightfully Tacky and see what she said. =)

  11. Your outfit is SO unbelievably CUTE and so are YOU! I love that we live in a time now (for the most part) where we CAN love cupcakes and flowers (I'm so with you there!) but that doesn't make us ridiculous just makes us awesome.

  12. Well said and adorable outfit. I would wear it with pride :) (Actually I would wear anything with pride if I was as skinny as you! ;)

  13. I love the flowers! So bright and fun!


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